Two Small Problems
by KyuubiNineTailedFox
Summary: When Kuja and Zidane arrive at Dissidialand, The Cloud of Darkness attempts an attack at Luneth, and Kuja fires a spell, but it missfires, and Zidane and Kuja end up being alot smaller than they already were! Eventual Kuja/Zidane.
1. Missfire

**A new story for Kuja and Zidane, although nothing sexual.**

**This sort of story has always been buzzing around in my head, so I thought it was about time it came out.**

* * *

"Yes, yes Freya, I'll be fine. Kuja and I are on good terms. We won't kill each other."

"Just promise me you won't go overboard..."

"I promise!" Zidane shouted, running toward Kuja, both going toward their destinations.

"So what do you expect everyone to be like then?" Zidane asked Kuja.

"Well, I hope everyone on Chaos' side aren't all stuck up and mean."

"But they're all deadly villains..."

Kuja shot Zidane a deadly glare.

"Not that you're a deadly villain anymore..." Zidane changed the subject, "I hope we won't have to rough it up to much. I don't wanna hurt you."

Kuja blushed at Zidane's statement. He twiddled his fingers together, facing Zidane.

"I don't particularly want to hurt you either, Zidane."

"Then neither of us has to worry about getting killed."

"And if someone from Chaos' side tries to hurt you, I'll kill them in their sleep."

"Good to hear."

Kuja and Zidane said their goodbyes, and parted ways. Zidane walked toward the complex where he would be staying. It was rather like a big hotel. He walked through the doors, and met up with the rest of the Cosmos Warriors. He stood in his seemingly assigned place; ninth. To his left, some kid a few years older than him, and to his right a depressing looking young man.

"Take time to get used to each other. You each have your own rooms, save for nine and ten. Dismissed!"

Zidane shifted to talk to the kid to his left.

"Who's nine and ten?" He asked, showing genuine confusion.

"That's us; we all go by our numbers."

"Who's the guy who just spoke to us?" Zidane asked again, nowfollowing his roommate to his assigned room.

"That was the Warrior of Light. Number one."

"That names a bit of a mouthful. By the way, my names Zidane. Why are we all referred to as numbers as well?"

"Oh, my names Tidus! We're all from our respective Final Fantasies. We've all gone on some life changing adventure, saving the worlds we live in and whatnot, that's a Final Fantasy."

"Seems confusing."

"It is. But once you get used to it, it gets easier."

* * *

"... All save for nine and ten, who'll be sharing a room."

Kuja looked at the buff, tanned man to his left, and sneered. Why did he have to be the only one stuck with a roommate? A rather ungraceful looking roommate at that. The older man smiled at Kuja, and he inwardly shuddered. He seemed nice enough, but all of these people here were villains, and Kuja definatly took a disliking to a lot of them just by looking at them.

Kuja especially hated number six. He had hated clowns since the day he was created, Zorn and Thorn had creeped him out enough.

Deciding he'd had enough, Kuja walked outside for some fresh air. It suddenly hit him that putting ten people that were crazy for power together was a bad idea. Not that he was crazy for power. Not anymore.

Walking toward more unfamiliar ground, Kuja spotted Zidane, lying on some grass.

"Am I glad to see you." He muttered, sitting next to Zidane.

"Everyone not as fun as you'd expect them to be?"

"Well for one, I have to room with number ten; Jecht I think his name was, and he looks like a brute! Don't even get me started on the rest, I mean, I thought I dressed scantily, but the women here aren't exactly modest!"

"I have to room with number ten on my side to. His name is Tidus, he seems tidy enough."

"Hmm..."

"What's wrong?"

"I was just wondering what everybody will think of our little meetings like this. By the looks of things, everyone else hates each other, to the extent of wanting to kill one another."

"Well, we just won't tell anyone of our meetings. We should come here everyday, just as it gets dark."

"Yeah. I'll meet you back here tomorrow, alright?"

Zidane and Kuja got up to leave, waving as they departed. Zidane made it back to his room, and Tidus was sitting on the windowsill, watching the sun set.

"I saw you outside with someone, who was it?" Tidus asked no malice in his voice.

Zidane felt that Tidus could be trusted. He just had that laid back attitude that reminded Zidane of himself.

"That was my brother, Kuja. He has to room with ten on his side too."

"Really? Then that would be my Dad, Jecht."

"You won't tell anyone that I've talked to him, will you?"

"Of course not. You wanna see your brother, I'm not gonna stop you from doing that."

"Thanks Tidus."

Zidane soon grew bored of his room, and went downstairs toward the ballroom, just to snoop around. He may as well get to know the place. Once he entered the huge room, there was a little kid with silver hair and violet eyes, playing with what looked like a toy dragon.

"Hey, aren't you Luneth...?" Zidane asked.

Upon hearing someone else's voice, Luneth threw the toy dragon behind him, looking as innocent as a child possibly could.

"I wasn't playing with no toy dragon, of course not; I'm way too old to be playing with toy dragons!"

"You don't have to be embarrassed about playing with toys around me. Anyway, you're just a little kid, what are you doing here?"

"I'm a Cosmos Warrior. Number three, but call me Luneth."

"But you're so young..."

"So are you! What are you, like fourteen?"

"What? No, I'm sixteen!"

"But you look a little short for your age."

"I am not short! You're not so tall yourself!"

Luneth smiled and went to pick up his dragon. He went to leave, but Zidane stopped him before he could.

"Aren't you a little young to be in a room on your own...?"

"I'm in a room with Terra. She offered for me to stay there with her."

"Well, uh, I guess if you need me, I'll be outside. See you later kid."

Zidane walked outside again, and it was just getting dark. He remembered what he and Kuja had said about coming here, but that was for tomorrow. Zidane still walked toward the grassy knoll though, and he was surprised to see Kuja there.

"Kuja? I thought we were going to meet tomorrow."

"Well, I never really left this place. I saw that clown inside and…" Kuja shuddered, "I just couldn't bring myself to go back."

"I've seen that clown. Kefka his name is, I think. He scares me too."

"Zidane...?" A small voice piped up, "Who's that...?"

"Luneth! What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering who you were talking to."  
"Well, this is Kuja."

Luneth walked up to Kuja, a little bit unsure of what to say. He sat next to Zidane.

"I don't mean to be rude..." Luneth started, "But are you a boy or a girl...?"

Kuja's face went red with either anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell. Before Kuja could say anything, Zidane dived in front of Luneth.

"He's just a little kid Kuja!"

"I am male, thank you very much..." Kuja sighed.

Zidane, Kuja and Luneth sat together, talking about irrelevant things, until Luneth tensed.

"What's wrong Luneth?" Zidane asked suddenly.

"Watch out!" Kuja screamed, knocking the two boys out of danger.

Where Zidane and Luneth had been sitting, a patch of charred grass had replaced them.

"How dare you!" Luneth shouted at his seeming nemesis.

The Cloud of Darkness hovered several meters in front of them, preparing another spell.

"Go pick on someone your own size!" Kuja screamed, firing a spell in her direction. Zidane ran behind Kuja.

There was a bright flash of light, and The Cloud of Darkness was unscathed. Laying in Kuja and Zidane's place were two smaller versions of the warriors.

"His own spell backfired on him and his friend. Some sorcerer he turned out to be."

With that, she floated away, leaving Luneth in a state of shock. He stood there, not knowing what to do.

"Hey! Zidane! Luneth! Time for training-" Tidus cut himself short. He looked down at the three children, two unconscious.

"Oh man, what happened?" He exclaimed.

Luneth looked up at him, nearly in a state of tears.

"She went to blow us up, but then Kuja cast his magic, and it backfired!"

"Alright, alright, calm down, I'm sure we can fix this..."

"Hey" Kuja!" A rough voice sounded, "Time for-"

Jecht stopped himself in the presence of Tidus.

"What happened here?"

"Long story and I don't have time for it; you take the baby Kuja, and I'll take the baby Zidane..."

"Whoa there kid. Slow down. I'm not taking no little kid."

"Well he's your roommate! Plus I can't look after both of them!'

"Fine. But come back here tomorrow morning."

"Deal."

They both scooped up their respected children, and walked away, Luneth in tow with Tidus.

* * *

**To be honest, I really don't know where this one is going, save for little snippits in my head.**

**If you have the time, please review, I want your opinion on it so far.**


	2. Brothers

**New chapter! Wew.**

**Omg, I bought a Zidane X Squall doujin, right?**

**It really surprised me when it had sex in it, the description didn't mention that.**

**But its not as if that a bad thing, right?**

* * *

"Dad, come on, I can't possibly take both Zidane and Kuja! Besides, I've never taken care of a kid before; at least you've had experience!"

"Yeah, but last night this kid was a nightmare! At least you were somewhat well behaved!"

Zidane and Kuja were currently play fighting next to Tidus and Jecht. Jecht suspected Kuja would take things a little too far, so he picked up Kuja, earning a multitude of curses no child should know. Zidane ran over to Jecht and tried to reach Kuja.

"They seem pretty close." Tidus muttered.

"Well they are brothers." Jecht said, letting Kuja go, only to be attack-hugged by Zidane.

"I luff you Kuja!" Zidane shouted in an insanely adorable voice.

Kuja groaned and let himself be crushed by Zidane.

"Zidane, stop it!"

"No."

"Come on Zidane, time to go." Tidus said.

"No! I wanna stay with Kuja!"

"We have to go."

Zidane hid behind Kuja.

"If you come with me now, I'll get you some cake..."

Zidane's eyes brightened up at the sound of a sugary treat.

"Cake!" Zidane shouted happily, following Tidus back to base.

* * *

Upon returning, Zidane had received his cake. Little did Tidus know, small genomes got big sugar rushes, and all this resulted in was whizzing blonde blur, running up and down the hallways, shouting happily as he did so.

But it all had to stop sometime. Zidane crashed head first into the Warrior of Light's armoured legs. What came next surprised the Warrior of Light. He didn't know that much about children, but he expected Zidane to start crying. But Zidane merely laughed it off, and held his arms up, as if asking to be picked up. He obliged to Zidane's needs, and picked him up gently.

"Who're you?" Zidane asked curiously.

"I am the Warrior of Light."

"To long. How abouwt just Light?"

"Hmm... I like it. Thank you Zidane."

Zidane gave Light the biggest smile he could muster up. Light smiled and put Zidane back on the floor.

* * *

Squall was getting a little annoyed now. Zidane had been following him around all day. Squall wasn't good with kids.

"Will you please stop following me?" Squall asked for the millionth time today.

"No."

"Zidane, please, stop-"

"How come everybody knows my name, and I don't know anybody here?"

"You've been following me all day, and you don't know who I even am?"

Zidane nodded his head faster than intended. Squall sighed.

"Well in that case, I'm Squall."

"Squwawl?"

"No, Squall."

"That's what I said."

"No it- never mind. Hey, how about I take you to see Terra?"

* * *

Kuja was bored. There were no books to read, and Zidane wasn't here to amuse him and keep him company. He wasn't about to set a foot outside his room, for he was terrified of running into one of the hotels other occupants, though he would never admit it. Although he felt somewhat safe around Jecht.

"But Zidane wouldn't be afraid of them... He's not afraid of anything..." Kuja mused.

Feeling a new resolve, Kuja bravely opened the door and peered down the hallways. It seemed safe enough, and Kuja had heard Jecht say something about training. Kuja strutted down the hallway like he owned the place, smiling proudly at his new achievement.

"What have we here?" A feminine voice sounded.

Before Kuja could turn around to see the owner of the voice, he was picked up by the back of his shirt.

"Get off me!"

"Strutting down the halls like a proud peacock." A new voice could be heard.

"Cocky little thing isn't he?"

Kuja didn't recognise these two people, and he sure as hell didn't want to know them either. He was terrified, but he wasn't about to show any weakness in front of these idiots.

"Put me down!"

"Getting a little feisty are we? Maybe we should teach the brat a lesson or two, eh Emperor?"

"Ultimecia, I agree with you. I think I should teach him the ways of magick."

"No! Let me go!"

Kuja already knew the ways of magick, and he didn't want to get blasted by this fool. The Emperor conjured up a small flare ball in his hands, and held it in front of Kuja's face.

"No no no! Get it away!" Kuja screamed, all composure lost.

"Aww, is the poor baby scared?" The Emperor teased, holding the flare closer to Kuja, practically right by his nose.

"N-NO! Don't hit me with that!" Kuja stuttered. "Blizzard!"

A small portion of The Emperor was engulfed in ice, before it shattered away, leaving hardly any damage.

"Pathetic."

"What are you two doing with that child?" Another new voice.

In her surprise, Ultimecia dropped Kuja, and he promptly made his way over to the big, hulking suit of armour, hanging on to one of his legs.

"I think it has nothing to do with you, Golbez." Ultimecia snapped.

Kuja whimpered, and Golbez picked him up, Kuja clinging to his armour.

"Then you won't mind if I gave Kuja back to Jecht then. Oh, here he comes now."

"JECHT!" Kuja shouted, fumbling from Golbez's arms to his.

"Jeez kid, what's frightened you so much?"

Kuja pointed at Ultimecia and the Emperor.

"Them bastards!"

"Now now Kuja, language." Ultimecia purred.

"SHUT UP YOU WHORE!"

Jecht laughed quietly under his breath, while Ultimecia looked a little offended.

"You little brat!"

"I want Zidane!" Kuja cried.

"I'm sorry kid, but you can't see him."

"But that's not fair!"

"Kuja, life isn't fair."

* * *

"Tidus, I want to go and see Kuja."

"I can't do that Zidane."

"But why not? Kuja is my brother!"

"Yes, but he's over on the bad guys side, I don't want you getting hurt."

"But I feel somfin wrong!"

"Sorry Zidane."

"Hmph."

* * *

Zidane was sure now Tidus was asleep. He climbed out of bed and sneaked out of his room, tail swishing around manically as he did so. He ran through the halls, out the main doors, and toward the other complex.

"Kuja...? Where are you?" Zidane half whispered.

Zidane walked around, looking for his brother. He noticed all the rooms had numbers on them, so if he was in room nine... Did that mean Kuja was in room nine? He wasn't sure, but it was worth a try, right? Zidane seemed to think so, and he easily opened the door and walked in, soon finding Kuja. He was in the corner, curled up into a ball. Zidane knew that something was wrong when he was in that position.

"Kuja...?"

"Z-Zidane?"

"Yeah, it's me..."

Before he knew it, Kuja was wrapped around him, sobbing.

"What's happened Kuja?"

"Everybody is mean to me here! I don't wanna live here!"

"Well then you can come to my house! Loads of nice people live there!"

"Really?" Kuja sniffed.

"Really. Then in the morning, I'll get you some cake!"

Zidane took Kuja's hand, and ran all the way back to his hotel, back to his room. Zidane climbed up into his bed, and Kuja followed.

"Goodnight Kuja..."

Kuja let his tail unfurl and wrap around Zidane's leg. Zidane snuggled up closer to Kuja, and they both fell into a peaceful sleep.


	3. Breakfast

**Finally I've finished just the end of this chapter. It was just being there, unfinished on my iPod.**

**Think of it as an early Christmas present!**

**Oh, add me on Facebook too, I roleplay as Freya.**

**Oh, and you know what'll be epic?**

**FANART!**

**Hehe, only if you want, but if you have, send me a link!**

**Hope you like the chapter, and please tell me what you think of it!**

* * *

When Kuja opened his eyes, he was relieved to find Zidane sleeping on top of him. Kuja had thought he was dreaming when Zidane had come to 'rescue' him.

"Zidane, wake up..."

"Mmm... No... I no wake up now..."

"Come on, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten anything since last morning..."

"... Okay then..."

Zidane rolled off of Kuja, and stretched. He grabbed Kuja's hand, and they both made their way downstairs, where breakfast was being served in the dining hall.

"Where is everyone?" Kuja asked.

"I always wake up earlier than everyone else, and you always wake up earlier than me, so we're up super early."

"Zidane, is that Kuja?" Luneth asked, walking in.

"Yeah. What are you doing up so early Luneth?"

"I've been awake most of the night," He yawned, "I wasn't feeling too good."

"Poor Luneth. You should have some breakfasts with me and Kuja!"

"I think I will." Luneth smiled.

Luneth sat down and shifted next to Kuja.

"What do you guys want to eat? Imma get some toast."

"Yeah, get me about fifty pieces." Kuja replied.

"I'll have some toast as well, thank you Zidane."

Once Zidane left, Kuja groaned and slammed his head on the table.

"What's wrong Kuja?" Luneth asked.

"It's just... How come everyone is so nice over here, and not over at where I was living? It's not as if I've met anyone except for you, and you're great so far; you haven't threatened me or made fun of me or anything!"

"Don't think I ever _will _threaten or make fun of you either."  
"Thank you Luneth."

Zidane soon returned with two very tall stacks of toast in each hand, trying his best not to drop everything. Kuja giggled at his little brother for taking him so literally.

"Zidane, I didn't actually mean get fifty pieces of toast."

"Good, cause I've only got bout ten in each hand!"

"Twenty? That's a lot Zidane." Luneth pointed out.

"Nah, five for each of us!"

"But there are three of us; there'll be five pieces left."

"Nope! Cause here comes Cecil!"

Zidane ran up to Cecil quicker than the eye could follow, and quickly offered up the pieces of toast.

"Breakfast for you Cecil!"

"Why thank you Zidane." He said, graciously accepting the toast.

Zidane ran back to Luneth and Kuja, offering Cecil a seat. He sat down next to Kuja, and Kuja scrambled over Luneth's lap to hide behind Zidane.

"Kuja! I told you everyone is nice here!"

"Meh..."

"Is this your brother Zidane?" Cecil asked.

"Yes, this is Kuja! Kuja say hi to Cecil."

"He... Won't hurt me, will he?"

"What? No! I would never hurt a child!"

Kuja smiled and held out his hand.

"In that case, I'm Kuja, pleasure to meet you."

"Why do you have to be so fancy about everything Kuja?" Zidane asked.

"Because one of us has to."

As everyone poured into the room, Kuja became a little uneasy, his eyes darting around the room, looking for the slightest sign of danger. Kuja nearly jumped out of his skin when Tidus appeared next to him.

"Zidane. Would you care to tell me why Kuja is over here?"

"Cause I rescued him! They were being mean over there..."

"Kuja can stay for the day. But when it starts to get dark, he has to go back, alright?"

* * *

Just as Zidane promised, Kuja got some cake. Although the two had to sneak it from the kitchen. But with Zidane and Kuja on the job, what could possibly have gone wrong? Well, the fact that the whole cake was taken, and the two brothers had half each. Besides, Kuja wanted to let off some steam. Two small genomes chased each other around the hallways, Zidane after Kuja's tail. Both laughed and joked as they played around like kids should, no one in their way to stop them.

* * *

Zidane quickly noted it was dusk, as he stood outside the bathroom door, waiting for Kuja to stop throwing up.

"Are you alright Kuja...?"

"...Yeah..."

Kuja unlocked the door, and walked out looking exhausted. He slung his arms around Zidane in a loving hug.

"I love you Zidane... Please don't make me go back..."

"I... Maybe I can come and stay with you instead?"

Kuja squeezed Zidane even harder. A small sob erupted from Kuja's throat.

"B-but I don't want you to get hurt!"

"Don't worry about me. In fact, I'll pwotect you."

"Zidane... It's protect..."

"Ahh, there's the Kuja telling me how to pwonounce things!"

"But I'm the older brother... I'm supposed to protect you..."

"It doesn't matter. I'll protect you with every ounce of my strength Kuja."

Zidane could feel his shoulder dampen. He held Kuja's shuddering body.

"Come on now Kuja. There's no need to cry... After all, you have me, don't you?"

Kuja weakly nodded his head, and slowly let go of Zidane.

"Before we go, I have to see Luneth. I need someone to cover for me..."

* * *

"Oh hey Luneth, we were just looking for you!"

"Hey guys, I was just going to bed."

"I'm going over to Kuja's house to keep him company, and I'll need you to cover for me... If Tidus asks where I am, tell him I'm with you having a sleep over, and that I'm in the bathroom."

"Why? Where are you going?"

Zidane let himself and Kuja into Luneth's room.

"I'm going to take Kuja back, and I'm staying with him."

"But Zidane, that's where all of the Chaos Warriors live!"

"Chaos Warriors?" Kuja asked.

"You... You guys don't know about it?"

"Know about what...?"

"The Chaos Warriors are all the bad guys, and for each of us, the Cosmos Warriors, there is a respective Chaos Warrior. It's like number four is Cecil, and over there number four is Golbez, those two are gonna have to fight sometime."  
"But Golbez is really nice! He saved me once! Besides... If the bad guys live there... Why do I live there?"

Luneth stayed quiet, looking down to the floor.

"Luneth...?" Kuja whimpered.

"If number nine over here is Zidane... And your number nine over there..."

"No! I would never hurt Zidane, never!"

"Yes, I know, even when you were adults you didn't want to hurt each other."

"Adults? What are you talking about?"

"You lost your memory of being adults?"

Kuja and Zidane gave Luneth a blank stare.

"Well if you guys are going back, I've got something to give you."

Luneth ran to the back of his room and dived underneath his bed, returning to the two genomes with three chocobos.  
"I brought these along in case I got scared... But, I'm sure Coco on his own will protect me... So you two can have these. I'll keep the green chocobo, Coco, Kuja can have the black one, Ember, and Zidane can have the yellow one, Choco! They'll protect you, as long as you take good care of them."

"Thank you Luneth..." Kuja said.

"Yea, thanks Luneth! But we have to go now, otherwise everyone will find out we're gone!"

"Now don't forget, be careful!" Luneth shouted at Zidane as he darted off, Kuja in tow.


End file.
